EXERCISE NL #92: Dream Lover
Date: Thu, 15 Jul 2004 23:11:17 +0200
To: Comparative Tarot http://comparativetarot.com
Dream Lover Exercise by Nina Lee Braden
Excerpts (snipped and grammatically modified) from Tarot for Self Discovery, p. 92.
Copyright © Nina Lee Braden
> Choose your deck. Go through your deck slowly, face up, and choose a card which seems to you to
most closely represent your ideal or dream lover. The gender of the card does not matter.
Had my Healing Tarot out and decided to use that one, then got a flash
of the Seven of Wands. I've had an attraction to this figure since the
first time I saw it. Going through the deck, I've pulled out way too
many possiblities, and--in true Lovers fashion--will have to choose.
The contenders are:
~ VIII Strength
~ Daughter of Wands, "Ambition"
~ Son of Wands, "Excitement"
~ Seven of Wands, "Challenge"
~ Ace of Wands, "Inspiration"
~ Man of Cups, "Compassion"
~ Son of Cups, "Romance"
~ Daughter of Cups, "Wonder"
~ Three of Cups, "Harmony"
Hmm, no Swords, what a surprise. A couple of disclaimers I have to make
before I start. First, I have to point out that the exercise is Dream
"Lover" not Dream Husband. As a married woman, the term "lover" has
other connotations. Second, if I had been asked to pick a card
*without* going through a deck, it would be Knight of Cups.
Strength is hot and wild, but would probably be dangerous and leave
marks. Ace of Wands is inviting, but just not humanly possible.
Daughter of Wands is very enticing, but if she decided she was in love
with you, she could ruin your life (Fatal Attraction-style). Again,
stimulating, but too dangerous. The Seven of Wands, I think, is more an
echo of the past. I always wanted the hottest guy--me and six other
girls--so it was a challenge. But something about this person is so
animalistic, and I find it really attractive.
(I've put up a picture of my Dream Lovers that would go with Seven of Wands.)
I've always been blessed to have a Man of Cups in my life--a big brother
type confessing his love and desire for me, looking out for me and never
being "untoward." Reminds me of Bunny Bob. As for the Three of Cups,
"LYLAS" is powerful, but not my dream lover either. (Fantasy, maybe.)
So, now I'm torn between "Excitement" and "Romance." Gee, didn't know
it would take me this long just to pick a damn card!! Okay, I think I'll pick Son of Wands.
> What do you like about this card? What makes it attractive to you?
What kind of lover do you think that this card would be like?
The sexy guy with the sporty convertible, ready to go. I like the
symbolism of the flares. It reminds me of our sisterhood secret code,
"BBT" which stands for "brief, but torrid." Someone who doesn't ask
much and doesn't stick around long, is bold enough to have fun without
too many cares, has his own set of morals, and plenty of stamina.
> Now, go through the deck again. This time choose a card for you--as you are now, this very moment.
Why is this card like you? How do you feel about this card? Are you happy with this choice or unhappy?
Another difficult choice, between the Daughter of Wands, full of desire
and ambition; and the Woman of Wands, in my garden daily. I'll decide
on the Daughter of Wands, since it's more related to the part of me
doing this exercise.
> Look at the two cards together. What kind of relationship do you think that the two cards will have? Why?
Brief, but torrid. And if they develop a true relationship, one of them
will end up dead or insane. (Jim and Pamela. Sid and Nancy. Kurt and
Courtney.) They may even try to kill each other. Neither one will take
time to pay the bills. These two are too "hot" together. They will
have affairs and fights, but will stick together, and fight for each
other, to the death. They are more concerned with quality of life than
quantity, i.e. trying to get the most out of it rather than trying to
prolong it. Bonnie and Clyde. As Ozzy put it: "Killing yourself to live."
> What does this tell you about yourself?
I wish I could live a legendary life.
> What does this tell you about your concept of an ideal lover? How realistic are your expectations?
I wish I had someone to inspire me to the things of which I'm capable.
A philosophical, ideological and motivational "match." I don't have any
expectations. Just wishful thinking.
> How close is the dream lover card to the people in your present and past relationships?
Present: not at all. Sorely lacking. Past: close. I won't admit to more in public.
>What does this tell you about the relationships that you have been in and may currently be in?
Relationships in the past may have been more exciting, but life was very
unstable. It's my time now to "move up" to the Queen, and cultivate my
garden. I'm a homesteader now.
> What goals can you set for relationships (present and future) based on your discoveries?
What step can you make today towards achieving those goals?
Convince my husband to buy a sporty car? He drives a Volkswagen Golf.
I can't imagine any steps. My man is a practical father of a 3-y.o.
daughter. A Swords-man. Any suggestions?
One Love All Love,
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals,
so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel. <Bloodhound Gang>
This page is excerpted from my original contributions to the Comparative Tarot discussion group.
Graphics created and generously shared by Full Moon Graphics.