esson 34: Grail Knight, Grail Four and Grail Five


s Gawain accompanies me through the pass, he poses this question for me to contemplate on my journey: "Who has *real* strength: one who closes the mouth of the lion, or one who stands steady as the lion roars?" After we part, I decide that it is in every beast to roar, and it is better (and probably harder) to adapt oneself than to think or try to adapt nature.  

   On the other side of the pass, I come across the Grail Knight. I laugh to myself, thinking that it figures that he (a.k.a. Knight of Cups) would be a musician. But he seems far less dangerously tempting than other musicians I've known.

   He wants me to play on his harp, but I have forsworn musical instruments, part of a barter with Deity . . . and Deity, as usual, blesses me for sticking to the deal. Daniel and I together lift a psalm into the air, as he plays and I sing.

The bright day of rejoicing
It will soon come, soon come
When my work will be over
And I will fly away home.
Fly away home to Zion
In righteousness to dwell
Surrounded by lovingkindness
All my fears to quell.1

We give thanks and praises all evening, then rest on the soft ground. I awake before sunrise and head out.  

   The day lightens slowly, to reveal a typical overcast "Schiesswetter" fall day. I walk with a long and rapid stride, hoping to find a place to shelter case the dark clouds release a downpour. But I only succeed in making myself tired and thirsty. I come to a lake, but it looks way too nasty to drink from, with slime floating on the surface. I sit at its edge, staring at its muckiness, suffering from "a case of the blahs." I feel very aimless, like everything is really pointless. I have a slight feeling that I should be doing something, but *what?* and *why*??? I'm all alone, with absolutely no motivation, too tired to move.

   I hear someone approaching and turn from the lake to see Daniel riding down the path. He sees me sitting there and lifts his harp, stroking a bright melody. Rising, I move my body to the music, thinking of a quote from Ziggy Marley: "Jah got the power to move ya." I'm ready to get going again. Daniel offers me a ride, but I prefer muscle power at the moment and skip along behind him as he plays.  

   He leads me to the seashore, where a ship awaits. We part with few words, and I think of him: "Still waters run deep." I wish we had more time together. His silence is a welcome change from most of the chatterboxes in my life!

   Setting sail in the ship, I feel very serene. Yet before long, a mist rolls in and I fear losing my way. I can see neither sky nor land to guide me. This ride isn't as nice as I thought it would be!!! While I pride myself on my fine sense of direction, I realize that I can't rely on this instinct/intuition to *always* lead me. I put my situation in God's hands, lift my shield, and let Him guide me, through the breath of the Goddess.


1) It may be dorky, but at least I did it! {back}

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