Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: (after long pause) Let's go ride bikes!
A father in a hurry taking his 8-year-old son to school, makes a turn at a red light where it isn't allowed. "Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!" the man said.
"That's OK Dad," the son says, "The police car right behind us did the same thing."
A little girl was sitting on her daddy's lap. She gazed up at her father and said, "Daddy, did anyone ever tell you that you're the most wonderful and smartest man in the world?"
Her father, filled with pride said, "Why no, honey, they haven't."
"Then where did you get the idea?" she asked.
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "but no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
When my daughter was about four years old, she still had a hard time grasping the concept of marriage.
But anyway, I got out our wedding album, thinking visual images would help, and explained the entire service to her. Once finished, I asked if she had any questions, and she replied, "Oh. I see. Is that when Mommy came to work for us, daddy?"
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
My friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night. Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often ad-libs parts of the stories for fun.
One day his youngest son was sitting in his first grade class as the teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs.
She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home. She said "...And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said "Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw to build my house with?"
Then the teacher asked the class "And what do you think that man said?" and my friend's son raised his hand and said "I know! I know! He said 'Holy Shit!! A talking pig!'"
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
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