Humor

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

At one job I had, the boss man got the idea that the IT department should be living up to the slogan, "Giving every user what they need."

I politely requested, "How do we get them to turn around so we can kick them in the ass?" It went over quite well, the room fell out laughing. I don't work there any more.

A French teacher was explaining to her class that in French, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

A student asked, "What gender is a 'computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups - male and female - and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else .
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later review; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your salary on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ("le computer") because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have got a better model.

The women won.